For several months now I have been trying to grasp the difficulty of the fight between desiring to fulfill my goals and grow in my relationship with Christ - and - the temptation to give in to what my body is telling me. Matthew, Mark, and Luke all tell about the time when Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane before His betrayal and the disciples were asked to watch out for him and pray.....but although they wanted to be obedient, their flesh was tired and weak and they fell asleep. In Mark's passage verse 38 it says, "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Then later on in verse 41 it says, "And He came the third time and said to them, Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? It is enough, the hour has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners."
This passage came to mind with a struggle I was having. It was my desire to spend my personal devotional time with God every morning before work; rather than occasional mornings, or evenings, or lunch breaks which were not consistent or regular. In the morning I would always have a reason as to why I needed that extra sleep instead of getting up early. I rationed that I was up late the night before, or I have a long day ahead of me. If I rest more today then I will better be able to get up early tomorrow, etc. This went on for months and I began to feel frustrated that I could not do what I really wanted to do.
In a moment of God given wisdom, I realized I should ask God for His help! I prayed that if He would wake me up, and have the spirit nudge me out of bed, I would get up and spend time with Him. Guess what happened! One morning, God woke me up! I sat straight up in bed, turned off my alarm, felt the spirit nudging me.......and I shamefully chose to go back to sleep. How could I?! I just prayed for this, God answered my prayer, and I basically said "no" to Him! Would I verbally say that sleep is more important to me than my relationship with God? No. However, my actions and choices that morning were reflecting that attitude. I will say that I felt a sense of guilt all day that I had made that choice. I felt like I had missed out on something. I was sad that I had made the choice I had, knowing what it meant to me, but I also felt comfort knowing that God's love is unconditional and He would be ready to spend time with me the next time I took the opportunity. That healthy dose of guilt led me to a place of humility that motivated me to have my actions in this situation reflect that which my heart desired. I no longer wanted to sleep instead of spending my mornings with my Father. It is pure joy to begin my day with Him! Life is short, and in preparation for Christ's return I need to prioritize my relationship with Him! That is most important! It was time for me to decide that I had had enough of my choices, the season had come and I was ready, willing, and motivated to put God first in my life!
Lord, as I am changed by your grace, may these changes be lasting and honest and may my husband and others close to me be able to witness that my commitment is real. May these changes and the resulting attitudes and actions in my life overflow to the lives of those around me...may they desire more of you as well!
What is an area of your life that you would like to experience growth in?
Would you be willing to ask God to help you experience that growth?
If He answers that prayer, would you hear Him?
Are you ready and willing to participate?
Make Every Moment Count!
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